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Recognizing the Signs of Postpartum Depression and Getting Help

December 17, 2020 by Leave a Comment

The birth of a child is a wondrous and glorious thing. Until you bring that baby home and are responsible for keeping it alive on zero sleep for weeks and weeks. Add to this already trying scenario is the hormonal cocktail the new mother is living with and you understand why some new mothers don’t feel so blissful.

While it’s normal for every new mother to feel some stress and irritability in the weeks after giving birth, it is estimated that  9 to16 percent of moms, through no fault of their own, will experience postpartum depression (PPD).

What makes some women more susceptible to PPD than others? It is believed that a combination of things including hormones, genetics, predisposition, support (or lack of), and stress all create a perfect storm to experience PPD.

As if experiencing PPD isn’t hard enough, there are actually a few myths surrounding the condition that can make a new mother feel even worse. Let’s dispel those myths right now:

Myth #1: PPD starts after a woman has given birth.

PPD can actually start while a woman is still pregnant. In fact, it is believed that in 50% of moms experiencing PPD, the symptoms began during pregnancy.

Myth #2: PPD starts immediately after giving birth.

In those instances where PPD does begin after a new mother has given birth, it is not uncommon for symptoms to begin well beyond the first four weeks. This can often take the new mother by surprise.

Myth #3: PPD is the only postpartum illness a new mother may experience.

The truth is, there is an entire collection of postpartum illnesses besides PPD that a woman may experience such as postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, and rarely, but sometimes experienced postpartum psychosis. These are all challenging disorders new moms experience.

Now let’s take a look at some of the common symptoms of PPD so you know what to be aware of.

  • Guilt – You feel like you should be handling the situation better. Many women feel worthless in the role of mother.
  • You Can’t be Comforted – With baby blues, mothers feel overwhelmed but can be comforted by encouraging words from their partner or loved ones. But with PPD, reassurance feels like a lie.
  • You Fantasize About Escaping – While many new moms think about wanting to just get away for a week or two to get some rest and feel human again, women with PPD fantasize about leaving and never returning because they think their families will be better off. NOTE: If you have thoughts of suicide, it is important that you seek help immediately.
  • You’re Angry and Irritable – You snap at your partner, at the baby, at the dog. You no longer feel in control of your own emotions.

Not every woman will experience every symptom. But if you are experiencing any of these it’s important that you get help. PPD is very treatable, so it’s important that you recognize the signs, understand that you’re not a bad mother, and reach out for the help you need.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help you during this time.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: New Mother, Women's Issues

Benefits of Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction and Sexual Anxiety

December 13, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Sex is a natural – and pretty terrific – function of life. But for many men, sex can lead to feelings of anxiety, which can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).

The Link Between Performance Anxiety and ED

Research suggests there is a clear link between a man’s mental state and his ability to perform sexually. Performance anxiety is usually caused by negative thoughts about a man’s ability to perform “well enough” during sexual activity. A man may not feel confident about his body, penis size, or his ability to please his partner.

But other things can lead to a man’s inability to perform well during sex. For example, if he is dealing with a lot of stress at work, at home, or is having financial difficulties, this mental stress can and does contribute to performance anxiety.

Together with this mental stress, and the effect it has on a man’s ability to perform can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED), where a man has trouble getting or maintaining an erection.

Beyond the mental stress, how a man deals with that stress can also affect his ability to get or maintain an erection. For instance, if a man deals with the stress in his life by smoking, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing other kinds of drugs, these lifestyle factors can all contribute to ED.

How Therapy Can Help

Many men suffering from ED decide to get a prescription for Viagra or some other medication. The problem with this is twofold: one, they are not getting to the root of the problem, that is the stress in their life, and two, many prescription medications can come with unwanted side effects.

A much better approach is to eliminate the stress and anxiety in your life. This will help your sexual performance as well as your overall health and well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be very effective in helping men regain a happy and fulfilling sex life. A therapist can help a male client discover what is bothering him and offer coping tools to help him healthily navigate his emotions.

CBT can be conducted one-on-one or used as part of relationship therapy, depending on the needs and preferences of the client.

If you are suffering from performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Filed Under: Men's Issues

Mental Health Therapy for Frontline Workers

December 4, 2020 by Leave a Comment

None of us were prepared for the global pandemic we find ourselves in. Not parents, teachers, and certainly not the healthcare workers around the country. Doctors and nurses suddenly found themselves working double shifts to care for sick people. As the rest of the world went into lockdown and people stayed home, safe and sound, these frontline workers showed up day after day, putting their health and life on the line.

Many, in an effort to keep their families safe, found other living arrangements. The idea of possibly exposing their family to something they may have been exposed to at work was too much of a risk, and so many mothers and fathers also had to deal with the stress and sadness of being away from their family during the height of the pandemic.

While many frontline workers appear stoic, all of this stress and fear took its toll, even on the bravest among us. As a result, many frontline workers have found themselves burnt out and experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety

It’s common for everyone to feel stressed or sad from time to time. But when certain symptoms linger, you are typically dealing with depression or anxiety. If you’ve never dealt with either before, you may not know the symptoms.

Symptoms of depression include:

  • A persistent feeling of sadness
  • A lack of energy
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Sleep disruption (either sleeping too much or too little)
  • Appetite disruption (eating too much or too little)
  • Difficulty focusing
  • A loss of enjoyment of previous hobbies or activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms of anxiety can include:

  • Excessive worry
  • Agitation
  • Restlessness
  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Tense muscles
  • Panic attacks
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Irrational fears

Is it Time to Seek Therapy?

For many healthcare workers, all of their time and focus is on how they can help others. The idea of self-care and asking others for help is not something on their radar.

If you are a healthcare worker that is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression as a result of COVID, it’s really important that you let someone else help you right now. A therapist can offer strategies that will help you cope with your symptoms and deal with the underlying emotions.

If you or someone you know would benefit from mental health therapy, please get in touch with me. I offer both in-person appointments as well as online support.

 

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Filed Under: General

5 Ways to Get Your Teenager to Talk to You

December 2, 2020 by Leave a Comment

It’s tough trying to get your teen to talk. Science has shown that the teenager’s brain has yet to fully develop the frontal cortex, which is the area that controls our ability to reason, and to think before we act. As your teen’s brain develops, they’re also learning new things about themselves and their surrounding world; simultaneously, they’re dealing with hormonal changes out of their control.

For all of these reasons and more, it can be difficult to find ways to talk to your teen, or to get them to talk to you. Although it’s difficult, it’s not impossible; read on to find five ways to get your teenager to talk to you.

Learn to Listen

Take the time to listen to your teenager when they want to talk. Instead of saying you’ll talk to them later, step away from what you’re doing and listen to what they have to say. Don’t talk, interrupt or be quick to offer advice; just listen. Kids have thoughts and experiences that their parents don’t know about, and the best time to listen to them is when they’re asking to talk to you.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

As you listen to your teen, your knee jerk response may be to quickly resolve their issue, offer advice or maybe even dismiss their complaints or opinions. Put yourself in your teen’s shoes; think about how you would feel if your spouse responded to you the way you respond to them.

Watch for Signs

Everyone has a desire to be heard and understood. As you talk to your teen, mirror back to them what you hear them saying. Watch for signs that they’re not being heard or understood by you. They might roll their eyes, shake their head, wave their hand at you or interrupt. When they’re nodding and/or silent, you’ll know you’ve understood.

Ask Specific Questions

Ask your teen specific questions rather than general “how was your day?” questions. Ask questions about a friend you know by name. Ask about a sport they participate in or a teacher they like. Ask open ended questions such as, “What was Mr. Burton’s class like today?”, or “What was the best thing that happened today? What was the worst thing?”

Location, Location, Location

When and where you try to talk to your teen matters. One of the worst times to talk to kids is after school. Just like you do after work, they need wind-down time. Instead, ask questions around the dinner table. It’s casual, and there’s no pressure for eye contact. The car is another great place to talk to your teen (unless their friends are in the back seat); they feel more comfortable because you’re not looking at them.

If you’re having difficulty communicating with your teenager and need some help and guidance, a licensed mental health professional can help. Call my office today and let’s set up a time to talk.

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens

How to Stay Safe While Shopping at The Farmer’s Market

December 1, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Shopping at local farmer’s markets is a great way to eat organic foods while supporting your local economy. But during the pandemic, as people have been forced to quarantine and social distance, many wonder if shopping at farmer’s markets is safe?

In many ways, shopping at your local farmer’s market can be an even safer experience than shopping at an indoor supermarket. Having said that, there are still some precautions you will want to take.

Be Careful with Selection

Not all farmer’s markets will be following the same safety protocols. If you have a choice of markets in your local area, attend the ones that are implementing optimal safety procedures. These procedures will include controlling traffic in and out, enforcing social distancing, and requiring masks to be worn by customers and vendors.

All that being said, open-air markets are a healthier option right now than enclosed markets, so aim for those if you can.

Avoid Busy Times

It’s a good idea to keep track of your market’s social media pages and monitor any changes to their hours of operation. Many stores and markets are offering customers extended shopping hours to avoid crowds.

Often people try and get to the market in the early morning when it first opens up, as this is often a great way to get a run on the best produce and meats. But consider staggering the times you go. Try later morning and afternoons to be safe for the next few months. Should you arrive and the market is very crowded, think about grabbing a coffee or running another errand and coming back a bit later.

Go for Pre-Bagged Items

Look for vendors that are offering pre-bagged items. This is a good option because it means their produce or baked goods haven’t been sitting out in the open, exposed to the elements, and who knows what else. Also, look for vendors who have hand-washing stations or have hand wipes available.

Bag Your Own Food

If none of the vendors at your local market are offering pre-bagged items, then be sure to bag your own items, then hand the bag to the vendor.

Avoid Samples

Who doesn’t love a tasty free sample? Many markets aren’t offering samples right now but if your market is, avoid them.

Wash Thoroughly

When you get home be sure to wash your hands well before and after you handle all of your bags. Discard (or recycle) any non-reusable bags and be sure to wash your produce thoroughly and dry it well before storing it for later use.

Farmer’s markets are a great way to buy fresh foods and support the local economy. As long as you follow these safety tips, there’s no reason you can’t enjoy your local market at this time.

 

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Filed Under: Nutrition

Coping with the Holidays After Loss

November 21, 2020 by Leave a Comment

For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.

Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:

Recognize You are Not Alone

It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.

Honor Your Pain

No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.

Take Your Time

The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.

Help Others in Need

One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.

When Don’t These Guidelines Apply?

If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.

 

If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.

Filed Under: Depression, General, Grief

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

November 13, 2020 by Leave a Comment

What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem?

Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem.

But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient individual, able to face life’s challenges head on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life.

If you have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues, there are some things you can do to give it a much-needed boost:

Face the REAL Reality

Are you someone that generalizes your lack of self-esteem? By that I mean, do you make generalities about yourself such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” The truth is, we all act like idiots from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are.

If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that you often lie to yourself with these generalities. It may be a very convincing lie from your point of view, but it’s still a lie.

To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you: you’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.

When you’re done making this list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are really good at. And, some of the weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.

Forget About Perfection

Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all of those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but even they are air-brushed, photoshopped and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place.

Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals like obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.

Get to Know Your Authentic Self

We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of brother or sister are you?

The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like.

If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem issues, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Depression, Self-Esteem

Stress Management Techniques for People of Color Dealing with Microaggressions

November 9, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Most human beings don’t get through life without dealing with their fair share of stress. But some people seem to deal with more stress than others. For instance, according to a report by the American Psychological Association (APA), both low-income populations and racial minorities have a greater risk of developing mental and physical health issues as a result of stress. The APA report focused on the need for raising public awareness regarding the stress-inducing implications of persistent exposure to subtle biases and microaggressions.

In the meantime, what can these populations do to manage their stress so they experience better health outcomes? Here are some proven stress management techniques to cope with whatever life throws at you:

Reframe

Reframing is an exercise that allows us to see the whole picture. Often times, when we experience a negative situation, we become emotionally wrapped up in the negative. But life is complex, and often there is good to be seen along with the bad. The good may be how we handled a situation or how our friends and family gave us support and strength. When we reframe, we step away from our emotions to look at the situation fully and honestly.

Relax

Stress causes tension in the body, and this tension can result in chronic health issues such as high blood pressure and chronic inflammation. It’s important to learn healthy ways to bring about relaxation. You might try tools such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, guided imagery, and biofeedback for managing your stress.

Practice Mindfulness

Over two decades of research on mindfulness shows that it is highly effective in managing stress. Mindfulness meditation involves fully focusing your awareness on the present moment. Through this practice, you accept your thoughts and feelings without judging them. There are a variety of online resources to help you get started.

Move Your Body

When we are stressed, our body experiences the “fight or flight response.” This entails a number of stress hormones to be released into our bloodstream. These hormones make our hearts beat faster and direct blood flow away from our brains and core into our arms and legs so we can remove ourselves from the perceived danger.

But for many of us, the danger is not physical but mental and emotional. And so we don’t burn through these hormones and they linger in our bodies causing damage. For instance, one of the hormones released is cortisol, which if levels are left unchecked, can cause high blood pressure and damage to the brain.

Exercise is one of the best ways to burn through these “fight or flight” chemicals. In addition, exercise helps with the production of feel-good endorphins.

These are just some of the ways you can better manage the stress in your life so it doesn’t negatively impact your health. If at the end of the day, you need more help, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health therapist who can provide you with even more stress management tools.

 

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Filed Under: General

The Caregiver’s Guide to Self-Care

November 6, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Are you acting as a caregiver to a loved one? Maybe your elderly parent or a spouse or child that is battling a serious illness?

According to womenshealth.gov, 36% of Americans provided unpaid care to another adult with an illness or disability in 2012, and that number has almost certainly climbed as the baby boomer population continues to age.

Acting as a caregiver to another is definitely a labor of love, but it can also take a physical, mental and emotional toll on a person. When you focus all of your energy on the needs of other people, it is entirely too easy to put your own needs on the back burner.

Do You Have Caregiver Burnout?

Here are some of the most common signs of caregiver burnout:

  • Uncharacteristic irritability and impatience
  • Poor sleep
  • Forgetfulness
  • Somatic symptoms, such as headaches and gastrointestinal distress
  • Changes in appetite
  • Turning to substances to self-medicate
  • Lack of interest in friendships and hobbies
  • Thoughts of harming oneself or the person being cared for
  • Increased illness
  • Anxiety and/or depression

With so many people relying on caregivers, it’s important that these people learn to take good care of themselves!

Here are some ways you can begin practicing self-care so you don’t experience burnout:

Get More Sleep

The quantity and quality of sleep you get each night will have a huge impact on how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally. Stress can make it hard for us to get good sleep, so don’t make it any harder.

Avoid caffeinated beverages after 2 pm as well as using any digital screens at night. The blue light emitted from these devices messes with our sleep cycle. You may also want to use room-darkening curtains to make your bedroom dark in the morning so you don’t awaken too early.

Get Plenty of Exercise

All of the stress, tension, and balled-up emotions need to go somewhere, or you’re likely to become sick yourself. Exercise is a great way to work all of this… “stuff” out of you. As a bonus, your body releases endorphins after a good workout, and these chemicals give your mood a nice boost.

Eat Right

Your instinct may be to reach for sugary comfort foods but you need to stay healthy and strong. Opt for protein and healthy fats along with some organic produce.

Ask for Help

While everyone around you may refer to you as “superhuman,” the truth is, you’re just human, and you can’t handle everything by yourself ALL of the time. Ask people to help you provide care once or twice a week so that you may have a little bit of time for yourself.

Talk to Someone

If you are dealing with your own depression and anxiety, it’s important that you speak with someone who can offer coping strategies.

If you or someone you know is a caregiver that could use someone to talk to, please feel free to be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

References:

Filed Under: General

Creative Expressive Therapies for Kids and Teens

November 4, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Life hasn’t been the same for any of us for many months now. As we continue to try and adapt our lives to safely deal with this novel coronavirus, it has taken its toll on many, both financially and emotionally.

Kids have been hit particularly hard during this time. At first, many might have thought the idea of no school was “awesome!” But as the weeks rolled on, and they found themselves away from their friends and their routine disrupted, many kids began to feel depressed and anxious about the future.

Summer vacation is supposed to be a time of fun and freedom, but with many states still in lock-down mode and masks still being mandated, this summer isn’t filled with the same kind of fun and freedom as usual.

How can you help your kids deal with the stress and anxiety at this time?

You can get them involved in creative expressive therapies. These therapies, such as art therapy, music therapy, dance therapy, and drama therapy, to name a few, have been successfully applied in psychotherapy and counseling for more than 70 years.

Creative expressive therapies are valuable in helping people of all ages navigate stress and anxiety but work particularly well with children and teens. One of the biggest benefits of expressive therapies is that they calm the nervous system. When we are focused on creating something, our focus shifts away from the very thing we are worried about and ruminating on. Once this shift has occurred, we also have more access to the rest of our brain and our thoughts and emotions stored there.

But the real reason expressive therapy is so good for kids and teens is that it allows them to express themselves in a nonverbal way. Ask a young child how they are feeling about things and they are liable to give you a shrug. But give them some markers and paper and all of their thoughts and feelings will come flowing out onto that paper.

There are a variety of creative expressive therapies that your child may find very helpful during this time. If you’d like to explore any of these options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help your child or teen cope with the anxiety they are going through because of the coronavirus.

 

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Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Children